Blog Post 4- Reflection

One story that I’m choosing to reflect about is on page 74, the story about Charlayne and the drug dealers on the stairs of her apartment building. She says that some of them treat her politely, and other don’t, like this one drug dealer that knows she doesn’t like him, and followed her down the stairs and down the street. He even followed her into the store she was going to and tried saying something to her. I feel the need to go back to this story because it makes me personally feel uncomfortable. I couldn’t imagine something like that happening to me or what’d I do if I were in Charlayne’s position. And the fact that he probably had a shot-gun with him (the men on the stairs did, it didn’t say if the dealer who followed her had a gun on him or not, but it’s still scary to think about either way. Like the mere thought that the men on the stairs who were with him had guns is absolutely terrifying) makes it even more uncomfortable. She’s a woman who was alone, being followed by a drug dealer, possibly with a gun. As a woman who’s been in somewhat of a similar situation (my friends and I were driving and got followed for about 10 minutes by two men) I just can’t imagine that there isn’t much emphasis on safety in the Bronx. Especially since she probably grew up around this stuff so it didn’t startle her as much as it would’ve startled me, but it’s still sad and scary to think about

Another story I’d like to reflect on from the first part of the book is on page 95, when Anthony was explaining the plague that’s coming to the Bronx. He lectured Kozol about the history of plagues, but when Kozol asked about the plague that he’s referring to, he talks about drugs, sadness, and desperation. Kozol asked what could end this plague, to which Anthony responds that only God can fix it. I chose to reflect on this story because it has a powerful meaning behind it, in my opinion. Because the conversation between Anthony and Kozol continue for several pages, however on page 96, Anthony says that the Bronx isn’t God’s Kingdom. His Kingdom is a place of glory, but the Bronx is a place of pain, and I highlight this part of the conversation because it’s sad to think that even the people of the Bronx have lost all hope, that they know their city is in shambles, and there’s not anything they, as a society, can do about it. I feel like this shows that there’s a sense of hopelessness. I also think this is interesting because in psychology, we’re learning about happiness, and some of the happiest people are those who have strong religious relations because with religion comes hope and faith, but it even seems like that doesn’t apply to them. That having a belief in a greater power doesn’t do them much good. Also, something that surprises me the most too is that these are all the thoughts of a 12-year-old boy. He seems so educated about the area he lives in, yet he feels as though he can’t do anything about it which is sad since he’s so young and has a whole life ahead to make a difference.  

Jumping to the second half of the book, I’d like to discuss the story shared on page 151 continuing onto page 152. The story about “moondog”, a 21-year-old man who was shot because he was protected a pregnant woman. The woman and the baby are fine, but the man who protected them died. He loved dogs and would bring him home, he put others far before himself and meant it, he had a good heart, yet died young. Also, as if this didn’t already tug at my heartstrings, the fact the Kozol described the painting of the dog (which represented the man’s death) was an unusual memorial. I’d like to draw attention to this because yes, even though it was unusual for the area, it’s something beautiful. It’s a sad story, but a happier moment because the man loved dogs, and that’s kind of how he’ll be remembered. By his love of dogs. And even though the way he died was very noble and heroic, they’ll know who he was as a person, that people who didn’t know him, like Kozol, will associate the deceased with something that was part of their life, something that was meaningful to them. It’s like the memorial is a celebration of life, and I think that’s one of the most optimistic things in the book. Even though it’s a very small moment in the book, it still holds high significance to me, because I personally believe that the deceased should be remembered by who they were before their dying moments.

The last story from the second half of the book that I’m going to reflect upon is the story on page 217 continuing to page 218 about the AIDS epidemic. The stunning fact of how some 10,000 children had lost their mothers to the epidemic in 1993 (when Kozol first began to visit the Bronx) is so tragic and I can’t imagine ever having to go through something like that. Quite frankly, I don’t even want to imagine something like that. It’s so sad to me that these kids will have to grow up without a mother or father due to AIDS, and that part of their childhood was taken up by a parent dying from this epidemic. I can’t and don’t want to even think about the amount of trauma these kids will have to go through while growing up, and this’ll be what they remember for the rest of their lives. Not only will they have to live with the fact that one of their parents died from the disease, but they’ll also suffer through the disease themselves. 91% of children in New York who are born with AIDS are black or Hispanic. 91% is an incredibly high percentage. And these were kids who came from neighborhoods who were also known for drug abuse, and that’s such a terrible thing to think about. That they spent their childhoods not only without a parent in their life, but also grew up around drugs and now will have to continue their life with the memory of their parent dying from AIDS, but also that they themselves have the AIDS virus, and that they might not even have that much time left. As mentioned before many times, this is such a shocker for me to hear about, because I didn’t know that the area of the Bronx was this bad and had this bad of an impact on children's lives. 

I think while each of these stories have their own kind of individual meaning, they also hold a meaning of their own all together. Like when you put all these stories together and try to find the overall meaning, you see how much this affects the lives of individuals in the society of the Bronx. That’s what I really like about how “Amazing Grace” is formatted, that there’s so many different stories about individual people and their own views and stories and thoughts, as opposed to just asking on person or making assumptions about the society as a whole. Kozol doesn’t generalize, he talks to many different people and gets their sides of the stories so we get different aspects of what life really is like in the Bronx and how it’s personally impacted them, because even though the society is suffering as a whole, they each have their own story of suffering to share. They have their own opinions on what they’ve been through and what the Bronx has been through, and I feel like hearing the variety of anecdotes has made this book have a greater impact on me, and that’s what Kozol wants. He wants the stories and the discussions to have a strong impact on the reader, no matter who that reader is. And Kozol doesn’t really put his own responses to the stories in the book either, so you, as the reader, don’t have any sort of way you should feel about what you read. It’s all up to you on how you interpret everything. And that’s what I think Kozol’s point is. To emphasize the individuals’ stories in the book, but also emphasize your own thoughts and opinions about what has been happening in the Bronx. 

I want to draw attention back to the conversation between Kozol and Anthony about how the plague of the Bronx could be fixed. Anthony said it is all up to God, that no one could do anything for them. And this brings me to the discussion of how important it is to have motivation to make an impact. Anthony, along with probably a lot of other people in the Bronx, have some sort of learned helplessness. They feel as though they can’t do anything, and only a saving grace could help them. I took a social justice class last year, and we learned about the importance on having a voice, and how every generation has the power to make a change, whether it be young or old, but the future lies in the hands of the younger generation. And the fact that Anthony feels as though there’s nothing that anyone can do probably means that they won’t do anything to help try and fix the problems in the Bronx. One kid can’t do it all, but a whole generation of hopeful kids could do a lot. One kid can’t do it all, but one kid could start it all. Change has no start time or no end time, societies are always changing. It’s up to us to determine if that’s going to be a good change or a bad change. 

Divider courtesy of animal-jam-clans.wikia.com